RIGHT?!
Wrong. He is headed to jail, but he's headed to a Norwegian jail. And, thanks to a new photo essay by the Foreign Press, we now know what those look like.
Forget everything you learned watching Oz. Forget electric chairs and windowless cells. You can even forget your fear of dropping the soap. Because this, my friends, is a whole 'nother animal.
We begin our tour of the world's cushest penal system with its private cells, which offer mini-fridges, large windows (to intentionally let in more sunlight), and flat screen TVs. You know, the usual.
Next, let's take a look at their private bathrooms; a luxury most American college students would kill for. Hey, there's an idea! Maybe they should.
Err moving on... In Norway, prisoners spend a lot of time out of their cells and exercise is encouraged. In fact, Time magazine reports that, at Halden Fengsel (Norway's newest prison, which is spread over 75 acres of "gently sloping forest... to avoid an institutional feel"), prisoners are even given personal trainers.
State-of-the-art gym facilities with an indoor rock-climbing wall...
A professional recording studio, in which prisoners can create their own bands and lay down albums...
Oh, and guards without guns... who, might I add, are encouraged to be friendly toward the prisoners and play on mixed sports teams with them to encourage "a sense of family."
So, anyway, this may be my last post because - in writing this - my 10-year plan suddenly changed. If you need me, I'll be in Norway robbing a convenience store.
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