IS IT JUST ME OR IS IT A LITTLE HARDER TO BREATHE TODAY?

Uh yeah, what the poster said.

THINGS TO BE THANKFUL FOR THIS FRIDAY

1. It's Friday.
2. Rebecca Black's video is over 5 months old at this point. So, chances are, no one will post it on you wall today.
3. You didn't eat 6.5 pounds of sand, thinking it was ice.

CHIC, C'EST LA VIE

Well, I feel stupid. All this time I've thought Countess LuAnn capitalized the A in her name to be as pretentious as possible, but it turns out that capital A actually serves a purpose: to make the sentence below as symmetrical as possible

Countess LuAnn is a total Ass.

If you don't believe me, take a gander at her new "official" music video, "Chic, C'est la Vie," in which she enlists her RHONY friends Jill Zarin and Kelly Bensimon to try and look sexy behind her. What's that you say? They just look awkward? Cut the Countess a break. This video looks pretty low budget. I wouldn't be surprised, if I found out the videographer was Bobby.

Sorry, girls. The Russian Judge gives you a 3.5. C'est mauvais.

Now, Kelly, pass me the jellybeans already!

HOLY TWEET

You know how, these days, it seems like everybody and their mom is on twitter? Your friends want you to tweet. Your boss wants you to tweet. In fact, if you want to professionally  promote anything; you must not only tweet, but learn to tweet well.

As it turns out, it doesn't just seem like everyone's on twitter. Everyone. is. officially. on. Twitter.


How do I know this? Well, today in an historic move, the Pope... took to his iPad... in the Vatican... and tweeted... about the launch of an online Vatican news and information portal.


KABLAMSHHHHH!^%$(*&(@$87HUDHKH!!


Oh, excuse me. That was just the sound of my head exploding. But, as I was saying, this is what the event looked like to an average twitter-user:

So, there you have it. An 84-year-old man just attracted 18,776 followers with 1 tweet... Oh, and 23 characters to spare. NBD.

WHOLE FOODS PARKING LOT

Because it's been WAY too long since white kids had a rap anthem. (ahem Tea Partay, I'm looking at you.) Do yourself a favor and check out the new video by Fog and Smog, called "Whole Foods Parking Lot." It touches on all the good stuff: inexplicably small shopping carts, overpriced vegetables, bitchy women shopping in yoga pants... See what I mean? These guys understand you. And, if that isn't enough to convince you to watch, here's a sample of lyrics from the 3rd verse:

"This Busters on his iPhone talking to his friends,
Picking up some cayenne pepper for his master cleanse.
You're the most annoying dude I've ever SEEN brah...
Could you PLEASE move? You're RIGHT in front of the Quinoa."

Did that guy just rhyme brah with Quinoa? Oh yes, he did. Shit is gettin' real.



eCrazypants

This is a video about... I'm sorry. I can't. I can't type anymore. I keep thinking about cats.

DYING CITY, SHMYING CITY



Back in January, as part of a content sharing deal, Newsweek posted mainstreet.com's list of America's "dying cities" on their website. On this list? Well, among other cities, Grand Rapids, Michigan.

So, what do you do if you're a proud Grand Rapids native, outraged by Newsweek's accusation? If it were me, I'd probably storm around my house screaming, "WHAT?! BUT WE PRODUCE SO MUCH OFFICE FURNITURE!"

But, thankfully, it's not me.... because I'm from New Jersey... and because the much-more-creative-than-me residents of Grand Rapids took to the streets and outdid themselves with the video above. So, apologies, Grand Rapids. Neither Newsweek nor I will ever question you again.